The Snare of Seduction: Safeguarding a Woman's Heart in a Sex-Saturated Culture

One Shot

2010-07-29T08:30:00.004-05:00

I just wanted to take a moment to remind any readers that we only have ONE shot at this life and we are called to be holy and set apart and spread the Good News of Christ. Does your life reflect one who is set apart and consecrated to the Lord? When people around you look into your life, do they see one who truly walks out God's Word in their lives? Are we walking in God's purpose for our lives? Are we doing to work He set out for us to do here on earth? Or, are we wasting time on the things of this world that are meaningless? We only get one life on this planet, we can never go back and have a do-over. I encourage you to take an honest look at your life and ask the Lord what needs to change in order for you to begin making more of an impact for the Lord on those you are surrounded by.

Beauty for Ashes

2010-02-23T13:51:00.004-06:00

It is snowing for the second time this month is East Texas and as I watch the beautiful snow falling, I am reminded how in Isaiah 1:18 it tells us that though our sins are like scarlet, they will be made white as snow. How thankful I am for that!

Recently at a small group bible study,I got so tickled because another woman asked me, "how do u get the back of your hair to poof like that on the crown of your head? Do you use a special product or blow dry it a special way? I have tried for years to get my hair to do that."
What was so funny to me is that my hair poofs like that because its damaged in that area from me pulling it out over and over in that spot in childhood from emotional trauma. That area on my head has been a huge source of insecurity for years in my life! Yet, here was the sweet woman wanting to know how I made my hair look so good with my poof! The discussion today in bible study was based around Isaiah 61 that tells us he gives us beauty for ashes. I couldn't help but laugh to myself on the way home thinking about how the woman went on and on about how much she liked my "poof"! If she only knew how many hours I have spent trying to hide that area! I guess he truly does make something beautiful (my poof!) from the ashes (my damaged hair)! God has such a sense of humor!

Hope for the Addicted

2009-11-08T20:48:00.005-06:00

For those of you who are caught in a cycle of addictive sexual sin patterns, I thought what author, speaker and counselor Harry Schaumburg said in his latest book, Undefiled, was excellent. There is hope for true freedom from sinful patterns. It takes a supernatural work of God to create in us a pure heart. Man is incapable of changing His ways. Behavior management is not enough to change one's sinful ways toward true, lasting change.
Schaumburg says, "We are in bondage to sin and therefore it takes divine illumination and persuasion for the heart to respond. This is a very old and fundamental concept stated even in Jeremiah's day: 'Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil' (Jeremiah 13:23 NIV). We are so corrupt, enslaved to sexual sin, that repentance is impossible apart from God's illumination."
This is why the grace of God is such a gift to us. Nothing in man's corrupt nature would ever choose repentance or have a desire to turn from habitual sin. Man's original corruption that infuses every heart makes it incapable of obeying God. Without His gift of grace, man would always choose the path toward destruction. If you feel frustrated that you can't seem to change your sinful ways, there is hope! The fact that you are even looking for help is proof alone that Christ is operating in your life because nothing within your corrupt nature would ever choose righteousness. Find hope in Christ alone! He who began a good work in you WILL complete it! Let's continue to ask the the Lord to create in us a pure heart. Praise you Lord for the work you have begun in our lives!

Thank you Lord!

2009-08-16T18:29:00.004-05:00

Lord,
I thank you that there is nothing that comes our way that You didn't already know about! Lord, I am humbled that in spite of my failures, you still chose to create me for a purpose that would bring glory to your name. Father, today, anyone that reads this, may they be encouraged that no matter what choices they may have made in the past, no matter how ugly their sin was, you knew them before they were ever formed in their mother's womb and you chose to create them in spite of their sin! May that truth free us from the shame that attempts to hold us back from walking in our God-given destinies to glorify Your Name!
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Set our Hearts Ablaze

2009-08-03T20:46:00.003-05:00

Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace! I am forever grateful that you would take my place on the cross where I deserved to be.

Lord, I ask that you would stir up our gifting today and may we walk in our God-given destinies! May we steer clear of the path that leads to destruction and refuse to be distracted by the enemy any longer! Keep our minds steadfast on you Lord and the works you predestined us to do here on earth that would bring glory to your name. Align our hearts with yours Father and continue to refine us with your refiner's fire! Set our hearts ablaze today Lord with your all consuming holy fire!

Sin and Selfishness

2009-05-26T10:38:00.005-05:00

I recently received a phone call from a young married person whose spouse was leaving the marriage because they were involved in an extramarital relationship. I had the opportunity to reach out to the one “fleeing” and I was reminded through our conversation of the true nature of infidelity: selfishness. When we make the decision to cheat, what we are basically saying to God and to our spouse is, "I really do not care how this affects you nor hurts you. I’m going to do what I want to do and I could care less about you and your feelings." So, in essence, we are worshiping self! We choose our ways over God's ways.

The excuses I hear over and over again for sin all revolve around the god of self. I am deeply concerned for the body of Christ because we have become so selfish. To think that we can do whatever pleases us and disregard God’s commands is absurd! Have we lost all fear of the Lord? The word says not to fear man, but to fear The One who after the body dies, has the power to cast the soul to hell.(see Luke 12:5 )

Over and over again the New Testament tells how there is no place in heaven for the sexually immoral. (see Galatians 5:19-21) Now, I certainly don’t believe that if one has committed sexual sin they are banned from eternal life in heaven. Nor do I believe that if you continue to stumble in sexual sin that you are doomed for eternal damnation. I believe that if we are truly in Christ we cannot continue on down a path of self-destruction for long because the Bible teaches that those who are in Christ cannot go on sinning. Having said that, I do believe God requires us to fight against sexual sin with every last breath is us! Are we fleeing from extramarital relationships or are we continuing on in them without a care in the world how it will affect our spouses and children?
I had one woman tell me she absolutely believes there is no way she would ever get caught in her adulterous affair! How scary to think we have become so arrogant in our ways that we think we have the power to keep our sin hidden. Let me say this from experience: the enemy is after your darkest secrets! He finds complete pleasure in exposing your sin publically. The word says he runs to the throne day and night telling on the saints! If you think your secret is safe, think again! As I heard Beth Moore once state at a women’s conference,” Satan comes to tempt you, trap you, and tell on you!” He is after whatever darkness you are presently walking in.

I pray that God would have mercy upon us and grant us another day to repent. May today be the day that we turn from our wicked, selfish ways and return to the Lord while we still have time!

Spiritual Warfare

2009-05-06T21:39:00.004-05:00

God’s word clearly teaches us that we are to put on his full armor to take a stand against the evil one. I know it’s not always comfortable talking about spiritual warfare, but I think it is of importance to understanding why we fall into some of the traps we do. God would not have taught us about the importance of being fully armed if we were not engaged in a real battle. Aside from our own evil desires within that lead us into sin, we have an enemy who attempts to do everything he can to get us to stumble.
If you have never read C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters, I highly recommend it. It will give you an awareness of the works of the enemy. In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis wrote: “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve their existence. The other is to believe and feel an unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors in them and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.”

I don’t believe we are to give too much attention to Satan and his cohorts, but I think what C.S. Lewis says here has a lot of merit. Understanding that Satan and his forces do exist and have powers here obviously is important to know or God would not have told us about them. Scripture tells us that we can be easily seduced away from our devotions to Christ. In the Amplified Version, 2 Corinthians 11:3 says, “But (now) I am fearful, lest that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, so your minds may be corrupted and seduced from wholehearted and sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” As you can see from this scripture, Paul is deeply concerned that the believer's mind might be seduced away from his devotion to God. Let's begin to recognize that our minds are where the battle begins so we can avoid any unnecessary warfare.

Seduction in the Body of Christ

2009-04-13T20:22:00.009-05:00

I’m not afraid to tell you that I believe the body of Christ is being seduced, particularly sexually. Almost monthly I hear of another victim who has had a life devoted to Christ fall into a relationship outside of marriage. I believe we are experiencing something like we never have before.
I feel that one reason for this is that we are avoiding this issue in our Christian circles and pretending it’s not as bad as it really is. Most of us pick and choose what sermons we are going to listen to, or choose books to read based on what our itching ears want to hear. We don't want to take an honest inventory of the conditions of our hearts and the evil sin within because we might actually feel some healthy conviction. We want to believe God is okay with our sin because we believe He would want us to be happy! For example, how many times have I heard the excuse, "I just wasn't happy anymore with my spouse. We fought all of the time. Surely God would not want me to live the rest of my life in an unhappy marriage." So with that excuse in mind, we justify breaking our covenants with God. God never once said to leave your marriage if you are not happy! We have become so selfish. It is all about us and not about Him. Why are we governing our own lives and telling the potter what we think is best for us?

Something else I realize we are guilty of is doing a cut and paste job to our bibles to create our own personal version to fit our needs! Why do we do this? Because it makes us feel better about our sin. How do I know this? I've done this! However, God loves me so much that He unveiled my eyes to show me this so that I might repent and turn back to the full truth of the Gospel. While our God is a God of mercy and compassion, He is also a God of justice. We can't just listen to sermons about His love and forgiveness, and ignore God's anger against sin. What happened to teachings on the fear of the Lord and costly grace? By focusing on what our itching ears want to hear, we've cheapened God's grace! We deny what we truly deserve because of our sin--death! Jesus' death on the cross for all sin was costly. It's through denial of Christ's death for our sin that we are able to continue our pattern of betrayal.

May we humble ourselves today and thank Him for the costly grace He chose to give us...What a gift!

The Deceitful Heart

2009-02-13T16:35:00.007-06:00

For those of you who have been reading the study I wrote, I want to be honest with you about something. I, like you, am going from glory to glory. I am continuing to learn new things about myself, about the Lord, and how to bring glory to His name. The Lord recently showed me some areas of darkness with in my heart as a “storm” blew through my life. I want to share what He used to show them to me, so you can see that I, just like you, face challenges in this walk of holiness.
A few months ago, a hurricane blew through Texas. The remnants of the storm passed through my town causing a tree to fall on our roof, which broke two holes in our roof, allowing water to pour in the house. My husband had to get out in the midst of 60 mile per hour winds to cover the holes the best he could to stop the water from ruining our wood floors. He placed a temporary tarp over the holes until we could get someone out to assess the damage and fix the holes. We had a huge mess to clean up outside after the storm passed. When the insurance man came by the following week and assessed the damage of the roof, he determined that we needed an entire new roof because of all the previous damage that had been done long before we lived here.
I couldn’t help but compare the similarities between that and the conditions are our hearts. How many of us have had previous damage done to our hearts long before we get to marriage? We make every attempt to cover up the pain of the past with "temporary tarps" instead of letting The Healer come in and help.
As the roofers began the work of removing the old roof, they found areas that had rotted wood just beneath the roof that needed tending to first. That reminded me when we give God access to our wounded hearts; He often finds areas that have been "rotted" for years. He has to tend to those deepest areas first before he works on the rest of it.
I began to picture when a storm blows through our homes, we are left with damage we are not capable of fixing ourselves. It takes a professional to assess the damage and clean up the mess; it takes Jesus. Along with His guidance, He can lead us to His Word and godly counsel to tend to the wounds of our hearts. Concerning the topic of betrayal, whether one is on the side of being betrayed, or is the betrayer, the heart is in serious need of help.
Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is deceitful above all things. Have you ever allowed God to show you the deceitfulness of your heart? I cannot tell you how many times I thought I had a heart that was not capable of certain sinful deeds! What a lie that was!
I recently allowed God to show me another area in my heart that was deceiving me. A minor storm blew though my life that God used to show me an area that desperately needed tending too. It is in times of crisis that God often uses, to show us what is hidden in our hearts. For example, hatred, jealousy, lust, selfishness, self-reliance, etc. I wonder how many of can relate to exactly what I am saying? I pray that when a storm comes our way, we would allow God to have His way with us in the midst of it.

Freedom in the Lord's Presence

2009-02-01T15:41:00.007-06:00

The bible teaches that God's Word is alive and active. That would mean it is presently doing "something". Are you allowing His word to be alive and active in your life? I have failed to do so lately...However, as I climb out of this pit I have been dwelling in, I am taking hold of His Word, desperate to see it come alive once again in my life. I specifically am leaning on Second Corinthians 3:17. It says, "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." I need to be in the presence of His Spirit and it is only there that I can experience His freedom. That specific scripture is alive and active! I desire to dive in head first into that freedom! I hate how I feel when I'm not experiencing freedom because I have given place to the enemy or because I have neglected being in His Word. What does it look like to be in the presence of the Spirit of the Lord? I believe for me it means to be at a place where my constant focus is on Him, and not on myself or the things of this world. What does that look like for you?

I read last night in Luke 16:13 that one cannot serve two masters because he will either hate one and love the other or be loyal to one and despise the other. We cannot lovingly serve our Lord and Savior and at the same time be loving the bottle, drugs, or the like. Jesus Christ is the only one who can save us out of any pit we have been dwelling in. When pain comes, He is the only one who can revive our broken hearts. Alcohol, drugs, and sex will not heal the pain. It will only cause us more harm. I was asked last night, "Which master are you serving?" And I ask you the same question.

Numbing Pain

2008-10-02T06:41:00.002-05:00

If you are new to the blog, I would just like to welcome you and thank you for visiting. This is a place where I share my thoughts and welcome your comments as well. I think it's important that we have a safe place to explore the WHY some of us struggle with sexual faithfulness in thought or action. I have found that temptations seem to hit the hardest when I’m dealing with emotional pain. In order to avoid pain, I generally gravitate to something that will stop the "bleeding". We all have a "drug of choice" when it comes to numbing pain. Mine has been escaping to my thought life and daydreaming about other relationships. I think it is important for us to explore why some of us are more vulnerable than others to sexual seduction. I would love to hear some of your thoughts. I think as we share with each other, we will gain much insight.

Temptation in the Desert

2008-06-16T14:20:00.001-05:00

I was thinking today about Jesus' experience in the desert. He had just been baptized in the Jordan River (see Matthew 3:13-15). In Matthew 4:1 it tells us that right after His baptism Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted. I can't help but think back to the time that I received Christ as my Savior and was baptized as a young adult. I had so much zeal for Christ but little knowledge of His Word. This left me vulnerable in many ways. For one, I had no idea I had an enemy who wanted to destroy me.

Within the following month, my family packed up and moved for the first time. Reflecting back to the year following our move, I can honestly say I felt like I was led into the "desert" myself. I was tempted in many ways by my adversary, and due to lack of knowledge and my own sinful nature, I fell face down into a deep pit of sin. I often wonder why I faced such an overwhelming season of temptation soon after I was baptized. I had never experienced attacks to the degree that I did in the year following my salvation.

Was it for sifting purposes? Perhaps it was to humble me and show me my desperate need for Jesus, because apart from Him, I can do nothing. Whatever the reason, I know now that He always provides a way of escape during temptation. For the times I did fall, He can redeem them and use them for His glory.

As I evaluate that particular time in my life when I fell and the terrible pain it caused myself and my family, I know that I would never have made it out without the saving hand of Jesus. The consequences were so horrendous that I felt at times I could not face the pain of my choices one more second. The Lord stayed with me every step of the way out of my pit and began to restore me from everything that held me captive to my past choices.

I believe the Lord allowed me to walk through that season because something needed sifting. Walking through the refiners' fire has burned out the desire to seek love anywhere else but in the arms of Him. Oh, how I pray that if you are under the influence of a lustful spirit, tempting you towards sexual sin outside your marriage, you would run towards the arms of Jesus. Satan wants nothing more than for you to fall! His only tools are lies and deception! If he is tempting you to leave your marriage partner for another, run as fast as you can before the Throne of Grace and confess it! The Word says that Satan runs day and night to the Throne accusing you (see Revelation 12:10). Run to it and confess any sin before he tells on you!

You are blessed dear sisters

Seduction in the Body of Christ

2008-04-08T21:13:00.008-05:00

Has anyone noticed the alarming number of women that seem to be falling into the sin of infidelity at one level or another? I am concerned by the number of women I have come into contact with in the body of Christ that are being "seduced" at one level or another. I have found that often times once the door has been opened through any level of unfaithfulness, the woman often feels "controlled" by an unseen force that she can't seem to break free of. At times, she desperately wants "out" of the relationship yet once she begins to take the steps to break free, she feels powerless to do so. Why is this so?

Most women (and men) do not understand that they have an unseen enemy whose sole purpose is to destroy them. First Timothy 4:1 says that near the end times people will fall away from the faith giving attention to seducing spirits (see the Amplified version). It is my belief that the enemy has unleashed a large amount of seducing spirits to do everything he can to try and seduce the body of Christ into sexual sin. We ultimately make our own choices and have to take ownership of them, however, the enemy is making sure he does everything he can to tempt us so that we will act on the sin!

I do not know if there is any other sin that seems to have the power and control over God's people like sexual sin. For some reason, sexual sin seems to be overpowering us at an alarming rate. Why is the enemy using this particular avenue of temptation? Perhaps it's because our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit and it's the closest way the enemy can get to assaulting God...

Casting Stones

2008-03-01T22:46:00.005-06:00

The town in which I live sometimes seems to be like a soap opera. There is always some kind of drama which seems to travel faster than a speeding bullet through the mouths of others! I recently heard of yet another marriage that was being torn apart by an extramarital affair. A married man had an affair with a single woman. Or let me rephrase how the locals say it: “That woman had an affair with him.” In their eyes it was the woman that had the affair; not the man. Does that sound all too familiar? As I was sitting near a group of women, I overheard those making harsh judgments against the woman; however, no accusations were ever made about the man caught in the same act. I began to ask myself, “Why are we so harsh on the women caught in the act of adultery? Is not the man just as responsible?” I find that mind boggling.

John chapter 8 describes a similar scene. Jesus had just appeared in the temple to sit down and teach a group of people. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees had brought in a woman caught in adultery (where was the man?). They made her stand before the group and told everyone present what sin she had committed. They told Jesus that in the Law of Moses it told them to stone such women (like He didn’t know!).

I find it interesting that no one mentioned the man that was involved in the act with her. Why were the Pharisees so harsh with her and not the man? Why are we, just like the Pharisees in their day, so harsh to judge each other? Is it because it makes us feel better about ourselves because we have not committed the same sin? What pride it is when we do just that!

Jesus began writing in the sand while the people continued to question Him and make accusations about the woman. Finally, He straightened up and said to them in verse 7, “If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Afterwards, he stooped down and began writing again.

Scripture never recorded what he was writing. I wonder if perhaps he was listing out their sins one by one. Perhaps he was writing the names of the people in that very group who had committed the same sin as the woman. No one knows for sure but that will be one of the first questions I ask Jesus when I get to heaven.

If you are familiar with the story, you know that they began to walk away one by one, oldest to youngest. Have you ever wondered why the younger ones were the last to walk away? I wish I could hear some of your answers!

As the story continues, Jesus asked the woman in verse 10, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” Her answer was, “No one, sir.” Jesus’ response to her in verse 11 was, “Then neither do I condemn you,” then He declared, “Go now and leave your life of sin.” Don’t you find it interesting that Jesus never dealt with this woman in a condemning manner? He never shamed her for her sin. His last words to her were “go and leave your life of sin.”

I find it troubling that some of us have acted the same way the Pharisees did in Mark chapter 8 when we learned of people who were caught in adultery. Why is this the case? I believe we are wise to examine the way Jesus handled the woman caught in adultery. I think we should pay close attention to the way the Pharisees acted and learn how we can react opposite of them.
My hope is that I never find myself acting like the Pharisees in Mark Chapter 8 when confronted with other people’s sinful actions. I want to be conformed to the likeness of Jesus, don’t you? I want to respond in similar ways as He did. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to make any necessary changes needed in order for us to be more like Him.

Father,
We thank you that you predestined us to be conformed to the likeness of your Son according to Romans 8:29. Father, we desire to be women who extend mercy and grace to your people just as you have extended the same to us. Please help us to do so! In Romans 3:23 it says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Help us to remember this when we are tempted to walk in the pride that tells us somehow we are better than others. Thank you for your gift of forgiveness. May we learn to extend the same gift to others.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Battlefield of the Mind

2008-02-20T19:21:00.017-06:00

Have you ever had a season in life where your mind was being bombarded with thoughts of another man other than your husband? What triggered it? Was it a random text message that was harmless yet left you wondering if there was a "hidden message" from him written to you? With the uses of email, text messaging, and other online technology, it is easier than ever for a married person to engage in a private, often intimate, relationship outside of their marriage. Have you ever received a text from a male friend that possibly had a sexual innuendo written in it that sent your mind spiraling downward into a pit of ungodly thoughts?

In the Amplified Version, 2 Corinthians 11:3 says, “But (now) I am fearful, lest that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, so your minds may be corrupted and seduced from wholehearted and sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” Can you see that Paul clearly is afraid that believers in Christ might have their minds corrupted and seduced by the enemy which can affect their walk with Christ? Isn’t it interesting that he is afraid of their minds being corrupted? That reveals to us where the battle begins; our thought lives.
You see, the mind is where the battlefield begins. If Satan can corrupt our thinking and manipulate our feelings, we are more likely to act off of what we feel and believe. Because women tend to walk in their feelings we can be susceptible to seduction.

Can you think of a time when you were devoted to Christ and somehow your mind began to slowly become seduced into thinking that something that was forbidden by God suddenly was ok?